The Closets of Life

A friend of mine lost his wife this past week. Another friend is going through the trials of a divorce. Both finding themselves in strange and troubling surroundings.

So many times each among us is suddenly visited by troubling situations in life -- that's why its called "life". And we must learn to cope with it.

When friends hurt, we hurt for them, and our memories are re-lived, and we open the closets of our own life.

When our child graduated from high school the minister giving the baccalaureate address used as her topic a verse of Scripture from the Book of Exodus where God was speaking to Moses as he was travelling through the wilderness, "Do not be rude to strangers in my land, as you were once a stranger in the land of Egypt". He was not talking about foreign travel, or taking a trip, He was talking about all of the situations of life where we find ourselves confronted with strange situations.

Years ago in another life, and another time, I found myself in such a strange and foreboding situation.

I was married to a beautiful young girl, very tall, very thin - a red-head, who was a model and did all of the television advertisments for the local deparment stores, as well as their newspaper advertisements. We had three children, and life was good.

Then one day, she began to complain of a variety of health issues and after a number of visits to the doctors, MRI and scans - the doctors said they couldn't understand what they were seeing from the tests. So off to Houston to the hospitals there we went to have more tests run.

I told my secretary at the office we would be back in a week, and she said, "fine, good luck and I'll see you when you return".

Two and one-half months later I returned to our home with my wife on the back seat of the car - both kidneys having been surgerically removed as well as a tumor from her spinal cord, and she connected to a dialysis machine to sustain her in life.

"And God said, do not be rude to strangers in my land, as you were once a stranger in the land of Egypt".

Two and a half years went by, with one trip to the hospital usually with a surgery, with a hospitalization of usually about a month, followed by a month at home only to return to the hospital, until this beautiful girl reduced to a skeleton of the person she was before, God finally said, "no more, come home".

So that at the age of 38 years, 11 months and 2 weeks she left this life for a better one elsewhere.

And, I was left with three young children and a house of sadness and loneliness.

And, God said "do not be rude to strangers in my land".

Many of us go through such trials and troubles, but it is through them all that the words of Jesus comes through - "I will never forsake you, I will be with you until the end of time".

Sometimes in the overpowering feelings being experienced, it is difficult for us to remember this.

Such it was for me.

I remember lying in my bed at night, in that darkened room, asking why all of this was happening. In my frustration I recalled something a minister at my church years ago talked about - prayer. In his talk he had said that there were all kinds of prayers - long ones, short ones, all inclusive prayers, all types. But, he said, the most poignant prayer of all was that of a young teenage girl who found herself in trouble, and in her grief and dispair she blurted out..."Oh, God, I hurt so much!!"

As I am certain just as you have done, I recalled that prayer, and in my sense of hurt and feeling of loss, I too blurted out in that darkened room..."Oh, God, I hurt so much!"

And from somewhere in my inner being, I seemed to hear a wee small voice say...."I know - I know".

Jesus promised he would never leave us, and God in his own time and way, will respond to our needs.

But, it was God who said, "do not be rude to strangers in my land".

I took the children to the Catholic church on Saturdays [as their mother and they were of that denomination], and I went to the Episcopal church on Sundays.

One Saturday, while at church, and asking again of God "why" all of this was happening, I did not receive a voice from heaven speaking to me. But, on leaving the church, confused and feeling lost, I noticed in the narthex [vestibule] of the church, a small table on which there was a scrap of paper, which was ignored by all passing by. It was as though the paper was left for me and me alone. Picking it up it contained a poetic verse from St. Mathew, which I will share with you:

"For every pain that we must bear;
for every burden, every care,
There is a reason.

For every grief that bows the head,
for every tear drop that is shed,
There is a reason.

For every hurt, for every plight,
for every lonely pain-racked night,
There is a reason.

But, if we Trust God as we should,
it will all work out for our good.
Because God knows the reason."

But, it was God who said, "do not be rude to strangers in my land".

There is an end to this story, as there is an end to all stories.

Five years later, while serving as an acolyte at my church, I noticed a small, beautiful lady [wearing a derby hat] sitting in a pew. In the coffee period following the service I spoke with her and said that I had not seen her there before, to which she replied, "Why, I have been here for the past three months". God had opened my eyes, when he wanted them opened.

He knew the hurt I had experienced, and in His wisdom worked all for the good.

Several months later, this beautiful lady and I were married, that was 18 years ago.

Each of us as we experience our hurts, our sorrows, our difficulities must walk the path of life. Never are we alone, never are we forgotten. For we have been promised that we would not be.

I have learned one thing though. Each of us has a closet in life. In it is filled with the memories past. Some of us rummage through this closet a number of times. Revisiting all of the hurts, losses, and sad times of life.

I was asked one time about the things in my closet and I told my questioner:

If I continue to look at the dark of yesterday,
I will miss the beauty of the sunset of today,
and the anticipation of the glorious sunrise of tomorrow.

Closets are best left closed, and the contents boxed and tucked neatly away.

The sunrise of tomorrow, will overcome the darkness of yesterday for us all.

For God has promised us! and, I believe Him!

God's Promise

Many years ago a best buddy wrote and gave me the following poem, its meant a lot to me, and I thought I would share it with you:

"God hath not promised
Skies always blue,
Flowers-strewn pathways,
All our lives thro';
God hath not promised
Sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow,
Peace without pain.
God hath not promised
We shall not know
Toil and temptation,
Trouble and woe;
He hath not told us
We shall not bear
Many a burden
Many a care.
God hath not promised
Smooth roads and wide,
Swift, easy travel,
Needing no guide;
Never a mountain
Rocky and steep,
Never a river
Turbid and deep;
But God has promised
Strength for the day,
Rest for the labor,
Light for the way,
Grace for the trials,
Help from above,
Unfailing sympathy,
Undying love.

The Privacy Act

My dearest friend - who is now 85 years old - and who raised me from the time I was 3 years of age [I am 70 now] called this afternoon to tell me that she had not received her "stimulus check" from the government.

I called the IRS phone number on the letter she had received telling her that on June 13th she would receive her check, and was literally placed on "hold" for 35 minutes, by actual count.

When an IRS agent finally answered he asked if I had a "power of attorney" to discuss the matter. "No, I said" - "I don't want any information, just to ask that you look up her account, and see if you can trace the payment - stop payment on it, and issue her another check" - don't tell me anything, just take care of her problem, I said. "I can transfer you to another number, but they are going to ask if you have a power of attorney". I said "look, all I want is for you to handle this ladies problem", "Good day, sir" he said, and hung up.

35 minutes I held the phone - and all I got was "Good Day".

I called my congressman's office and they are going to try and intercede.

There is something wrong - when a government employee hides behind the Privacy Act, and doesn't even make an effort to seek out the problem, much less to attempt to solve it

40 years ago I was told - "remember this, in life its' all a matter of whose ox is gored"

It certainly wasn't the IRS agent's.

He got his check.

Why am I doing this?

My step-daughter, whom I love very much, set this blog up for me.

In doing it, I am reminded of a story told to me by my mother [who died several years ago at the age of 94] about my grandfather, who at the time [1925] was the Superintendent of the State Colony [a public facility in Louisiana for the mentally retarded].

There was a patient there known as "buffalo Bill" who was causing quite a rukus. My grandfather called him in and asked him what was wrong, Bill said, "Doctor, if I could just go outside and holler it would be all right". My grandfather said, "Bill, is that all you you need to do to make everything all right?" "Yes, Sir" said Bill. So, my grandfather gave instructions that every day at 5:00 p.m. Bill was to be taken up the hill at the State Colony and allowed to holler all he wanted. So each day Bill went up on the hill, shouted all he wanted for 15 minutes or so, and then was taken back to his dormitory, not to be heard from until the next day.

This blog is somewhat like Bill - I can holler all I want, no one will pay any attention to it, but I'll sleep well the rest of the night.